Under Seige

That is what best described yesterday with Nick. It was horrible. His tantrums are getting more frequent-and they last---for hours. He throws things, screams at the top of his lungs, and bangs his head on anything around. He banged it so hard yesterday that Mike was worried he would knock himself out. Mike was literally at breaking point. He has no idea of how to handle this. It breaks his heart to see his son hurt himself. It breaks my heart too. I have never felt as hopeless as I did yesterday. How do you parent a kid like this? We had a long talk yesterday about how to handle his meltdowns. Mike was mad that I put him in his room and shut the door-why? Because he just screamed even more and banged his head even harder. Mike did end up spanking him-a fact that neither of us are proud of. We talked yesterday about how we should deal with this-this is different than when Michael would throw a tantrum(remember those doozies??!)This has really put our marriage to the test, and I can see how couples would divorce over such issues. I know Mike loves Nick with all his heart, and it is just breaking over this. We had so many dreams for him, and now we dont even know if he will ever reach them. It seems like such a long shot from where we are at now.

We had our appt. with the nutritionist yesterday. Nick was his peachy little self-after having screamed the entire morning. He has managed to gain weight and height despite his many issues with food. He weighs 30lbs and is 38" tall. The nutritionist IS going to recommend he get therapy for eating!!! THANK YOU LORD!!! She said that we are doing a wonderful job with the babyfoods we are giving him,as well as the vitamins and pediasure. She said that technically he is "Too healthy" for their clinic,but she did see that we are just frustrated and in need of some outside help. It is just one more therapy for us to add to our list.

New video

Video I shot tonight of Nick.

He looks so....well, autistic

Some days Nick could almost pass as a "normal" toddler-so long as he does not speak-to the outside world. Then, there are days like this weekend. Friday I took him out to the Commissary and all he said throughout our whole journey was "Aya,aya,aya", complimented by him rubbing his hands across the cart the entire time. He even removed my hands from the cart so he could do this. After we checked out, I let him watch the bagger put the bags in the car. Only he was not interested in watching her in the slightest...he was pressing his face against the tail lights of the car. He did this with both lights-walking right in front of the bagger as if she was not even there. Well,according to Nick...she wasn't. He has also seemed to regress a little bit with regards to food. Did not think this was possible??? Well, he no longer eats even crackers. Instead,he takes a bite and screams. At the soccer field,he is "typical"...spinning himself, inspecting the turf, and crawling around on the ground. Just a few minutes ago he was licking the windowsill. If only we could see what is going on in his mind. Somedays he is amazing...playing little tunes on the keyboard, he is a perfect mimic. I could have sworn I heard him play a couple of lines from "Twinkle,Twinkle,Little Star" the other day. I cannot wait to see what the nutritionist says this week at our appt. I am hoping they recommend a therapy for him to help him eat...we are just at the end of our rope. He just does so many "odd" things, it is getting harder and harder to see his behavior as something any 3yr old would do.

The group Five for Fighting(their song is on this page) is raising money for autism,as well as many other charities. Just go to http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com and view their videos. That's all you have to do! Everytime a video is viewed, up to .49 goes to that charity. It is pretty awesome.

Michael is doing good. Yesterday he was the goalie during the whole game-he only let in two goals,and they tied the game at 2-2. Pictures are on myspace at www.myspace.com/autiekid (yes, I have a myspace! More or less for Michael)